Friday, June 27, 2008

Damn fake hookers

For those of you I dont know, I live in Tampa Florida. I went to UF for 5 years and had a blast. Im a pretty terrible person in general, but I love all the bad things in life that are fun. Gambling, drinking and girls the most. This is my first entry about this crap, but anyone on +1 can tell you I do my best at screwing a lot of shit up. I have a lot of pics of them too, usually. This ones no exception although im hesitant to post pictures of people so im going to wait at first.

So this past weekend I went to a wedding in West Palm Beach. Before i get into the whole story, lemme preface this with why I was actually invited.

One of my 3 friends I have had my whole life (Jim) is engaged to the girl he lived with in college (Beth). In college, they lived with this girl named Amy. Amy is pretty hot (like a ~7), and kind of hooked up with all Jims friends (3 of us). Believe it or not, Amy was kind of obsessed with me in college. Apparently, one nite when i hooked up with her, I told her i really liked her and wanted to be with her. When she didnt give it up that nite, i just never called her or anything. She got all upset and started coming over to my appartment unannounced and waited outside a couple times wanting me to come outside and talk to her.

Amy and I never had sex.

FF to a month ago, Beth's siter is getting married and Amy is invited (Beth is MoH). Amy calls Beth to see if I wanted to be her date. Obviously i give the OK, seeing as how its guaranteed pussy right?

FF to Thursday, I call Amy to touch base and "warm it up". That goes really well and its obvious she wants to see me (who wouldnt). Jim and I drive down to west palm on friday to check into our rooms. This is when things begin to go wrong.

I of course, got one King bed, Jim got 2 doubles. I give him a weird look and he gives me the "this is what i was told to do" look. Our rooms are connected with a door so no big deal. The girls meet us at the room and we do our basic meet and greet, great to see you, routine. Amy is looking good. We go to meet up with the wedding party at this bar down the street (rehearsal dinner is over). I have never met any of the wedding party. We stay at the bar for awhile until the wedding party leaves and its the 4 of us. At that point, the other couple we are hanging out with arrives, Rashelle and Aaron.

We go to another bar that Aaron has a hookup at. At this point Amy is all over me, touching me, rubbing my back, just playful contact that lets the guy know "U get this tonite" about ~16 guinesses and ~12 car bombs (for the group, not sure why we are taking car bombs at an irish bar, but whatever) we paid our $5 tab (nice hook up) and leave the bar. Outside we are trying to find the six of us, and Amy and I are being very touchy feely, shes ~accidently touching my junk a bunch and im rubbing her back in good amounts to let her know im interested (its not gross, its just flirty, we are all pretty buzzed). Im playing it pretty cool to this point when we all decide to go back to our hotel. The 6 of us head back and smoke some bud.

Smoking bud was bad. It ends up with Aaron and rashelle leaving and Amy laying in one of the 2 doubles. Im not going to jump in her bed (high as a kite) when I have my own room, so I hop in my bed and the nite is done (gay).

So, the next morning the 4 of us wakeup and start the day with 2 bottles of champage in the form of mimosa's. We hit the beach and have some margaritas. The girls head off to do the girls stuff before the wedding. Jim and I roll out and meet up with Rashelle and Aaron at this restaraunt where rashelle works. 3 apps, 14 beers and 3 tequila shots later, we are leaving completely fucking trashed. One important convo during the session was this:

Rashelle: So Drome, anything happen between you and Amy last nite?

Drome: Nope

R: Hmm, well we are placing bets on you tonite

At this point, i know its clear to everyone she wants it. Jim and i get ready in our suits and head off to the wedding. We get there and meet up with Amy, who looks absolutely gorgeous. The 3 of us do the mingling and so forth. The wedding begins, and ends, and we do the post party thing.

At the post party (reception) Amy and I are dancing , laughing, and having a great time (it was the nicest wedding i have ever been to, top shelf all the way, i really enjoyed it, ill post pics when i can even tho i know no one cares )

Towards the end of the wedding Beth comes over to me in wispers in my ear

Beth: Amy just told me she wants to have sex with you tonite, dont screw it up

Drome: Ill try (with a devilish wink)

Something that should be noted, is during the nite, especially during the slow dances, Amy said quite a few times:

Amy: I didnt think you liked me in college

I wasnt sure what to make of it, we had hooked up a bunch of times in college, some while rolling, some while drinking, some while sober.............ok never sober but whatever.

We all head back to the hotel, and Amy hops into my bed, Jim and Beth into theres (connecting door open). Amy and I talk for all of 3 mins before we are going at it. She keeps taking breaks in it, and im getting a little frustrated. She keeps saying

Amy: I didnt think you liked me in college

At this point I think she means, why did i dislike her. Come to realize she just wanted me to say that i really liked her in college, so she could feel like we are having meaningful sex and not just animal, fuck me, sex. Well, she continued to ask

Amy: I didnt think you liked me in college

To which i ALLEDGEDLY replied:

Drome: I didnt like when you used to camp out at my spot, waiting for me to come home

Apparently, she didnt take to well to this and went back to Jim's room to go to sleep. We wake up the next day and Jim is telling me everything Amy told Beth the nite before and laughing in my face for not scoring. Its pretty funny for everyone but me.

Long story short, I suck



sprstoner said...

awesome start man.

def bad idea to smoke the bud at that point.

Schaubs said...

LOL @ title of post.

A good start I agree.

Bud and chicks don't miz, especially if they are light-weight-non-pothead types.

I'm sure you'll bang her one of these days... although it might require an appology first...

$mokkee said...

you shoulda named it

"how to fuck up a sure thing"

so sad

Anonymous said...

[ ] Game