Wednesday, July 02, 2008

p5s party and a boring night..

me, dwal (dave), and tdizzle (todd) met at the p5s party last night. i went last year so i knew what to expect... but it was even more gay this year. its pretty bad when you have free beer, and your party blows.

todd got rammed from behind by doyle brunson (got ran over by his scooter), and proceeded to bring it up 457,385 times over the night.. obv star struck like a 12 yo girl.

dwal (dave or deuche-wall) then showed off his suite at the IP, which i obv compared to the coolest retard, and apparently over used the joke... i mean it is a pretty awesome suite (at the, but he didnt even get the canadian sluts up... obv fail. i mean what was the prob, they were canadian, i dont get it. i think dave was to side tracked by who the billy idol impersonator was banging to be on his full game.

dave and todd decided to play BJ which i wasnt gonna do, so i stood around like a retard watching them lose all their money, and observing the ugly hookers working the IP.

we then decided to check out the poker room, they obv got tired of me nagging to go like a lil bitch, or it was because the drunk married chick who was wayyyyy to friendly left the bj table.. not sure.

in the poker room we run into CK who seemed excited to meet deuche-wall as she called him (think she said LJ started it, not sure), which was def awesome and was also way over used for the rest of the night (even though not nearly as much as pony tail jokes). running into CK was prob the highlight of the night, def overall boring night (no offense to CK, she is awesome, but only maybe 20-30 min of the night).... but we learned something weird, strange, maybe even awesome about ck, not sure, but def unique. she apparently is the only asain chick ever to also be jewish and ahmish, i mean, thats fucking wierd, no?

anyways CK had to go, it was either to sleep or move to summerlyn, cant remember, i suck at listening. obv the Ip sucked, so we went to caesars... walking across the street some random dude called me gay, which was def awesome. he was the dude that hassles you to give you free passes to clubs or whatever. for those of you who know me or have met me, you should know clubs arent my thing, but hanging with dave i can understand how this dude got mixed up. anyways he kept asking to get us in some club, i was tying to just ignore him obv and making dumb comments when he wouldnt shutup.. obv following us down the street...not sure why he chose to talk to me over the 2 fags behind me (usually those dudes are smart enough to realize im a local pretty quick). after i finally told him clubs arent my thing, he started tying to get us to go to strip clubs, which are fun (if i wasnt busto and wanted to go to a strip club, i already know where id go) but im broke and we already have a ~plan. not sure what i was saying, i was just saying random shit over and over, to give the guy the hint, to leave me the fuck alone, and im not listening to him..... out of the blue "ahhh, i get it, i can get you into the best gay clubs in town".... was so great, i love being randomly insulted by random ppl.. obv we all bust up laughing as the dude walks off.

we got to caesars, and todd tells his doyle brunson story to like every new guy coming to the table. you know he was just keeping it real.. the table pretty much sucked, 1/3nl and i was obv the worst guy at the table... well there was one worse guy, but dwal was strangely playing tight. actually one dude put in like 350 pre with Aj and dude's KK held unfortunately, and AJ didnt rebuy :(, played like 5-6 handed all night with tight players, i lost about $60 on the night. which is good for me, because i usually donate sick , esp while drinking... but i was playing weak tight since im busto... i prob fit in as a blogger now. todd was scared of the table, and left soon after we started (it was his idea to go there, i mean the whole night, he never stopping crying about going to caesars -so gay). i left at ~4am. dave went to the low stakes horse table which charged $5 per 30 min time, and got in 17 hands an hour. he had to do something as sleeping isnt an option for sicko gamblers on their last night in town.

on the way out, i left through the front door as i left my truck at the IP. there were about 6 black hookers catching ppl as they were leaving, i think because the night club closed so lots of ppl were leaving at that time. some of these hookers were pretty hot, some were fat. a fat (fat hooker = FH) one grabbed my arm and pulled me over.

FH: hey, where you going?
s: ummmm.... to my truck
fh: can i come with you?
s: ummmm.... naaa
fh: why not?
S: why?
fh: well, i wanna give a real nice treat in your truck
s: naaa, im broke
fh: less than 100?
s: sorry, im not interested
fh: ill give you a great treat for only $20
s: (now thinking because she is ~cute for a fat chick, and i def would like a BJ, and fuck its only $20) so i say, BBBJNQNS? (hooker talk for bare back blow job, no quit no spit).
fh: not for 20, you got 40?
s: (still obv wanting a BJ, i come to my senses) naaa, would def like to but i cant, sorry....

then i just walked away, and the whole drive home i kinda regretted it, obv BJs are awesome and i pretty much always want one, i mean im sure she would had taken the 20 and swallowed my load. also wondered if she would had gotten to mad, i if asked to talk to her hot friends. and obv wondering if they would for $20 as well.. lol i doubt it... oh well.

i heard old school locals telling stories that the best way to get the cheapest hookers was to get the ones who have pimps, and to meet them 5-6 am in from of casinos when they are trying to make their quota. i hear in front of the bellagio fountain is the best spot. never tried though... i always wanted to be the 1st guy of the night , not the 10th.. if you know what i mean.

sorry for the long boring story about our boring night (sorry dave i know it was your last night here... sux for you).


lj said...

night may have been boring, but report is awesome. u shoulda just gone to the hooker bar, good times. see ya soon! :-)

MackemPlus1 said...

BBBJNQNS? (hooker talk for bare back blow job, no quit no spit).

Lol, never heard that, that's awesome.